Wednesday, October 28, 2009
prelim's over for a long long time. damn it. i hate to admit that i'm scared. i'm really really super scared. sian! the world afterall still around, the sun still shines and flower still blossom. can't wait for everything to be over. why i can't be the one i want to be? why am i so emo nowadays? without a strong mentality, how to win this battle. while everybody's trying their best and mugging like crazy. i'm here emo-ing. what's this? why are you so affected by others? by external influences? sian./ are you that weak????
it's going to be over soon. dun let yourself regret! pls gather up your spirit. nothing is really impossible. juz believe yourself, you'll be fine. you have to be strong. you always are. really really strong. no matter what happens, rmb nobody can help you, except yourself!!!
3:30 AM
Saturday, October 10, 2009
i was deaf, you were blind. we communicate through a non-existent world. when everything comes back to normal, we no longer recognise each other as we belong to different world from the start.
welcome back! welcome your long lost home.
stupidity and naivity stops here.
11:47 PM
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
it's coming to a close now. with the song 'vincent', sent by mr tan played on, the feeling of tranquility surrounds me. i think this kind of night will end also as tina's mum returning home. it's a nice experience to stay alone at night with the nice music. while everything is gonna to end in a month, i hope it's gonna to be the brightest time then. prelim result may not that be excellent, but it says a lot and perhaps what is more impt is really the learning experience. let's juz strive what we want, with full confidence. we are the blessed ones for we have all the support from our loved ones. there is no reason for not performing our best, smile and breath. let's start from here :)
8:33 AM
Friday, October 02, 2009
sian. dream vs reality. if you have turned dream into reality, will you be given another chance? always complain abt sch, maybe it's really nt abt the sch, but myself, an inadequate, ill-prepared mental and physical skills. next wk prelim results are coming out, surpringly i'm nt as anxious as i thought i would be, maybe that signals this time round, i'm really doomed.
is this really going to be the end?
7:27 PM
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
after a long 3----w---e---e----k----s, finally prelim is over now. can't express how happy i feel now. though i know this happiness won't last long. this time round, my maths is really dead. no need to think about going UK already, mr chen muz be mad at me. fine. surprisingly, i have learnt damn a lot during this three weeks, not juz academically, but more of other intangible things, like how to control stress, what's really the purpose of your life. well, kind of scary, but i am a lot clearer about my own existence. i believe that's very important. last time, i always can't project to the future, or dun hav the courage to do so. but after these few days, i realise reality isn't that scary after all. we are gonna to receive our horrific results next week, scared, but so? 2 more months to go, dun let yourself regret ! can't wait to fully experience all this!! love now. love this kind of relief after trying very hard for so longthough there's still room for improvement, but for now, rejoice!
1:40 AM
Friday, September 11, 2009
i have to admit that i'm super duper scared! sian... feel very ill-prepared... i dunno since when this kind of fear start to grip on me. i wasn't like this last time. is it really a confidence issue? or is it really a matter of standard? i doubt. i really dun dare to think about how my prelim result will look like, lots of Bs and Cs or even D?? omg... maybe i shouldn't think at all. maybe i should juz try my best and see what's the result, anyway i can't change much, y not juz face the reality, be it surprising, or earth-shattering.
蹬，涯，松
6:21 PM
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
fri is first paper of prelim. kindda of scary when today hong wen said sth like: it's finally coming to an end, while we were reviewing our action plan set ealier this yr. unsurpringly, we didn't meet our goal, fall far behind. but what is more threatening is the fact that we are not far from our near to the last destination - final year exam, sth to recognise all these years' effort of study. All, everything is going to end in this few months, though deeply inside my heart i know, it's juz yet another begining, but i need to tell myself that i need to put a beatiful full stop to this station of my life, or at a semi colon. but the feeling of insecurity juz grabs me so hard, that sometimes i really dun see any hope in this. it is saddening to come to such a realisation, when exam is juz two days later, in fact, one day, since it's alr past 12, yet i'm so ill-prepared, sometimes i feel it's really a shame that i have almost the best resources in singapore, yet, i'm still underperforming...
zhang lu, it's time to pick up speed, like wad dad said, human are very delicate beings, we have the ability to function miraculously if we let it. so please... i need to fly.
9:05 AM
